I’m afraid

The annoying thing about putting my plan into action is that I seem to have to walk down paths that seem so cliched. They’ve been done before, I’ve read the blog, can’t I skip it already?

I realised with reluctance that I was in a funk because of ‘resistance‘. That felt lame, but true. Now I’m realising that it all comes back to fear. Lame, but true.

Yeah, fear. Common old fear. I know it already. I tell myself that I am afraid of many things but “feel the fear and do it anyway”.

So today I write a list (inspired by Havi) of what I’m afraid of.

* I’m afraid I’m not business-savvy enough to make a go of my plan

* I’m afraid I will just get stuck in yet another boring situation and want to change it shortly after I arrive

* I’m afraid that I think I know what I want but I don’t really know what I want

* I’m afraid that my attitude is the problem. Not the job. Me. I can bring in my new plan but my sucky attitude will mess that up too

* I’m afraid I’m getting caught up in a relationship that’s holding me back and won’t help me implement my plan

* I’m afraid I am selling myself short in life, that I’m settling for less

* I’m afraid that I’m expecting too much in life, that I should be grateful for less

* I’m afraid that what I really need is someone else to help me bring my plan into fruition but I can’t find that person

* I’m afraid of meeting new people who are doing similar things to me. What if I don’t like them and get stuck at horrible “meet-and-greet” events with people who I don’t like and who tell me about all the amazing things they’re doing and I wonder how they manage to make things happen

* I’m afraid that I am incapable of making something happen. Evidence suggests this doesn’t come easily to me. So I’m afraid that the worst thing for me is to rely on myself to make something happen

* I’m afraid that in five years time I will be muddling along and wishing I had just stuck on the path of 9-5 and kept earning decent money. I’m afraid I will be living in a dingy apartment somewhere, juggling bills. I will be even more boring and hopeless than I am today

* I’m afraid that in five years time I will be muddling along and wishing I had just jumped ship and gone overseas again and continued to live an adventure-filled life. I’m afraid I will be living in a dingy apartment somewhere, juggling bills. I will be even more boring and hopeless than I am today.

* I’m afraid that my fears are messing up my perspective.

 

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